There Is A God!

If anyone has been looking for irrefutable proof that there is a God, Gene Simmons' hideous facelift is proof positive. This "knight in the service of satan" has been transformed by the divine scalpel from leathery, rock predator, to a puffy and harmless, living apple doll. Ironically, Simmons may only recognize himself when the facepaint and glitter are reminders of an image that is the only touchstone to a once familiar identity--although, one could say that he might actually look even scarier now. Meanwhile, Simmons' Kissmate, Paul Stanley had to pull out of a show at an indian casino last week due to a heart ailment. Let's face it, the monsters of rock aren't breathing fire and spitting blood with the same venom they used to.