Open arms
I just turned fifty. Two days ago. Autumnal Equinox. In the lead up to my birthday, I took a sauna at my favorite place, a Finnish styled space in Albany. Closest to a sweat lodge I’ve found in the confines of a city. I decided during the sweat that I wanted to start the next fifty years with as much of a clean slate as possible.
For personal reasons, I’ve felt fairly blocked on the blog front and have had to work through some issues to get clearer. It hasn’t been easy and the radio program has afforded me a bit more anonymity during this phase. I decided to address a few issues to see if I can get clear, especially since Saturn is camped out in Libra and will be crossing over my Moon, Mercury and Venus in succession. So here is my attempt to reconcile the energy so that I can move forward. I hope it comes out as clear as it did in the heat of the moment when it flooded my brain cells at 115 degrees.
Some months back I made a connection with a kindred soul whose blog and content was similar to my own. We made a very fast connection and our work began to rapidly intertwine. It was potent and dynamic. As we developed a professional relationship, we also forged a personal one and exchanged feelings. We made plans to see one another which did not materialize and in fact became the pivot of our relating or lack thereof. What happened after that was an unraveling that quickly had us decamped in archetypal corners. We became manifestations of one anthers projections. I transformed into the enemy, the new age sheep in edgy wolf skins. She became my own, personal version of Kali.
Many years ago, I remember reading something by Robert Bly. He talked about how archetypal energies get acted out in relationships between men and women. He called these energies, “giants.” The biggest challenge is trying to deal with these energies from a personal perspective. It’s like trying to stuff a dwarf star into a three-bedroom-condo. We have been at an impasse since and I want to clear it up.
As Saturn lurches closer to my Moon, I seem to be more motivated than ever before to reconcile my relationship with women and my inner feminine aspect. The death of my father has also accelerated this process, leaving me to get to know a mother I never felt very close to–life loves to serve up these delicious ironies–I was far closer to my father. Now, here we are together.
In the months since my father passed, I have had to facilitate the sale of personal property for her as well as finding her a new home, movers etc. I am it seems, in service of the goddess.
With Venus and Mars in Scorpio, I feel it is incumbent upon me to get as clear as possible. To that end, I want to apologize to all the women of the world, the spirit of all women and the great feminine of God almighty for any unconscious, programed and robotic moments I’ve been learning through in this lifetime and more. I have been a better man at times than others and I have also done all I can to learn from my mis-steps and mistakes. I know that I have already been forgiven, but a virtual confessional can go a long ways. Is this self serving in some regards? You bet it is, because I want to get unstuck and be as free as I can be. So to my talented and passionate friend fighting the good fight and to all women and feminine energies of creation, throughout and in all things, I offer you all a heartfelt apologia.
Speaking of goddesses, who doesn’t think that this video with Velma (Thelma, determined protector, volition, will) Hart (heart) wasn’t one of the most compelling pieces of media we’ve seen in quite sometime. The CFO of AMVets laid it all out there in a beautifully unscripted and authentic fashion. If an election were held today, between Obama and Miss Hart, I think she’d give him a serious run for his money, especially after flashing the trademark grin and avuncular chuckle at a most inappropriate time. God Bless Velma Hart.
15 thoughts on “Reconciling Male and Female–Saturn In Libra–Apologia To The Divine Feminine”
and goddess bless you, my mr phoenix.
wow. you really hit it outta the park with this.
what a fine person you are.
Happy Birthday Robert! Keep up the good fight, and remember, it also is what we do with the transits via the use of our free will that can make all the good difference in our lives, and in the world. Well written post, and again, Happy Birthday young man!
– Theo
Your apology brought tears to my eyes. I am feeling this tension and living out a very similar drama in my own home. How I wish I could get a heartfelt apology and a virtual reset button would be gladly employed.
jubilee year
7 x 7 cycle completed & slaves set free
may I offer greatest regard & affection
Happy birthday Robert … had you pegged as a lot younger
…and you’re right the next fifty years will take you beyond the male/female to the spiritual …your picture sums it up perfectly
the loving, giving mother and the boy with too much ego…
…and maybe if we clean out the chicken house of all those roosters in power we would get some serious egg laying by more mamma hens like Velma Hart
Belated happy birthday, Robert – Many Happy Returns!
Sorry to read of your upset with a member of t’other gender. I think you are being too hard on yourself – or maybe seeing too many differences between the genders. I see few, apart from obvious physical/hormonal ones. At heart we are all the same. The problems you describe could have happened just as easily in a male professional cooperation – don’t you think? We are all just “people” at root, driven by the same ol’ same ol’ stuff.
Re the video – He gives himself away right at the start by talking about that ridiculous long-gone myth, “The American Dream”. I’m with you, on this. Velma did a very good thing, and Obama showed his true colours – again. It has been an eye-opening year or so for me regarding the Prez. Fool me once….etc.
You rock, Robert. Thanks for the honesty. Looking forward to seeing what happens with your writing rebirth. Saturn + Mercury = book?? happy Chiron Return, Emily
Cheers to reconciliation. It’s a great beginning, though perhaps you are to remain in Apollo’s temple for a little while…as we all should. I’m sure you traveled a long way to get to this post. It’s unfortunately not a road traveled by many. But in spirit of reconciliation, I will make sure to follow suit as well. I mean, women also have a lot of apologizing and ‘splaining to do to the Sacred Feminine.
What a lovely post … I have to tell you, what reason would there be to meet someone and experience that much energy if it isn’t to clear up past life issues bled into this one. It’s happened to me many times, and I’ve failed to get it right many times, failed miserably. Learned a lot in the process. For me it was all about reaction v. response and finding my worthiness (a long story). I’d say it’s some of the hardest work there is. Plus anytime there is an homage to the goddess, I’m all in … so, good on ya, mate! D~
October 3rd…no comment relative to this post Robert…
just stopping by to say I hope you are doing well and feeling
strong.
Hi Robert,
As a female who was enamoured by the female principle most of her life, I must say that I’ve been shocked into awareness of just how Kali women can be. Maybe it’s just my ‘scope, having pluto opp. asc conj. lillith but I’ve had more than my fair share of dark, power-hungry, jealous dames to contend with in both love and war (business). And I’m a hetero woman who does not compete for any man. Women are not wonderful, divine creatures (though they can be) per se – I feel sorry for the dudes out there hounded by nitpicking, possessive, demanding dames and feminazis and very glad I’m not one or the other. Don’t be so hard on yourself or sacrifice yourself for the sake of the archetypal goddess; she’ll emasculate you in the end then laugh that you’re ‘not man enough’ for her anyway.
oi, happy belated birthday now that you have sweated out the toxins of patriarchy. I accept you – on behalf of men – and your insights into where the power went wrong. My feet have been cleaned and now may we walk without defense upon our earth. I wish you well on the second half of your journey good man.
Where are you? Missing your e-voice. Any thoughts on Columbus day (since it is my birthday 🙂 ? Just planting a seed….or two… Peace 2 U!
That’s nice about the women, you know, the apology and all.. Yet..every time I see the photo of the voluptuous lady on the side bar of your blog, I feel like I have walked into a mechanic shop and I am really unwelcome. I feel like you could address that… Happy Birthday!
I’m honoring her right to use her form any way she pleases. I’m in Camille Paglia’s camp on this vector, plus, this is an astrological site and she is born on May 1st (Taurus), which is connected to he May Queen, Venus Of Willendorf, etc. But that will change soon, not due to a clash in ideology, but because I need to change the site up.