The New Gulf War, Masters Of Disasters, The Arrival Of The Ram and May Scopes

Poseidon is pissed.

Mercury retrograde can wreak havoc on contracts and travel, but would it have any impact on the environment? If the epic disaster in Louisiana is any indication then the answer is a definitive “yes.” Some are calling this Obama’s “Katrina.” The devastation to the surrounding environment is beyond epic. Of course it has and will have an impact on oil prices and the devils currency, “futures.” I suppose that if you wanted to dramatically effect the spike point of oil derivatives and people aren’t buying as much petroleum due to traveling less to jobs they no longer have, then artificially stimulating the market, which of course has never happened, would be an expedient and ruthlessly efficient action to take.

The first red flag around the event is that the BP rig that caught on fire, did so on 4/20, The cluster of events around 4/20 in this country’s history is formidable; Waco, Oklahoma City, Columbine and of course, it’s Hitler’s birthday and International Bake Day. And now we have this brutal catastrophe that is spewing 210,000 gallons- of crude a day. The black scum is now hitting Florida, threatening that state’s survival as well. The damage to the environment and economy in Louisiana is almost incalculable. The decision to set the sea of oil ablaze to “burn it off” adds a layer ritualistic elements, a titanic funeral pyre at sea. Most people think that oil is mostly comprised of carbon, hydrogenated oxygen. But on deeper inspection, there are many more elements at play including iron, silver, aluminum, boron and others. Of course, the ocean is element rich as well. What we’re witnessing is a dark, alchemical furnace being lit, an open cauldron at sea, sacrificing untold numbers of life forms, belching dark spirits into the skies. Now they’re adding chemicals to break up the oily blanket suffocating the south coast, adding more damage into the toxic spew. Figures.

There’s heavy rains and flooding in Nashville, riots in Greece, a fertilizer bomb in Times Square, Al Qaeda, White Russians, Pole Shifts, Regime Change, American Idols, Falling Economies, Rising Angst, Greasy Skies, and we’re not even at the grand cross zero point.. That comes later this month with the titanic arrival of Uranus in Aries. What’s an explorer race to do, when the heavies are getting heavier, letting us know that we’re ripping through the last days without brakes? It’ s time for some May Scopes, even though they are a little on the latish side. So without further ado, here are seven steps to heaven for each sign in the next thirty days. Oh yeah, the “YoUranus” feature is thumbnail for the energies of Uranus for each sign in the years to come.

Aries
Step one: Take an enemy to lunch. You might be surprised by the reflection you see sitting across from you.

Step two: Summon the spirit of fellow Aries, Marvin Gaye by listening to “What’s Going On?” from start to finish.

Step three: Make a friend of Capsicum, aka Cayenne it will keep you cool in the months to come.

Step four: Say a prayer for all the big cats kept in small zoos, for they are symbolic of the caged animal in your heart.

Step five: Sing the words to your favorite song of the moment at least once public, audible to others.

Step six: Focus your third eye on the brightest star in the night sky and tell it, it’s a jewel in the crown of your mind.

Step seven: Change the color of your hair.

YoUranus
We’d better get those blast glasses to shield us from your flashing brilliance.

Taurus
Step one: Remember that sex can be, loving, healing AND hot.

Step two: There was a really good idea you once had that you never acted on. Now might be the time to dust it off.

Step three: Venerate the universal mother on mother’s day, because we all know that it’s you.

Step four: Reach out to a lover from another time, something not finished needs attending to.

Step five: Chant the name of love over and over again while driving across city streets, spread it like wildfire, from stop light to stop light.

Step six: Surrender yourself to the sprites of chaos and let their little tricks trip you into deeper a-muse-ment and de-light.

Step seven: Climb the largest hill in your area and sit there until the sun sets and let it melt away the day.

YoUranus
The burning bush might actually dwell near cracks in the ocean at it’s darkest depths.

Gemini
Step one: Immolate all symbolic remnants of the false patriarchy. You are no longer a child.

Step two: Chocolate body paint.

Step three: Say “no” to someone in a situation where you usually cave into “yes.” because it’s the polite thing to do.

Step four: Wear your heart on your sleeve for a day. Literally. Cut out a felt heart and attach it to your sleeve. You’ll be amazed.

Step five: Say “yes” to something you’ve been putting off for a while now, and reclaim your power over it.

Step six: Search for an alternate Rumi. There’s more great quotes out there somewhere.

Step seven: Create a new religion, make it as divine or sublime as you like and convert at least one person.

YoUranus
Take a seat at the global roundtable and get ready for your inspired crusade.

Cancer
Step one: In the dark of night, circle your property and spread equal amounts of tobacco and salt around the perimeter. Seal your space.

Step two: Make love at least once in the morning, before the light of day, without saying a single, solitary, word.

Step three: Cook something over an open flame, even if it’s just vegetables. Savor the alchemy of sweet heat.

Step four: Write at least one poem per week for the rest of the month, no mater how goofy or sappy it may sound.

Step five: Undo the right thing that someone erroneously taught you to do. Hint: It’s probably a brother or sister.

Step six: Find some dolphin and whale recordings. Listen to them. You might be surprised by what you pick up.

Step seven: Your desire to be understood and recognized will manifest in the most surreal manner and fashion.

YoUranus
Your arduous passage across the desert of your career is drawing to a close. Your genius can no longer be denied–even by you.

Leo
Step one: If you think you are hearing Gabriel’s horn in the distance, you just might be. Honor it.

Step two: You can purr or roar, pounce or snore, just make sure that you say “thank you” every now and then.

Step three: Get something off your chest. The bigger the better. You won’t regret it.

Step four: Get some sidewalk chalk and write a love letter to the universe where everyone can see it.

Step five: Practice speaking in tongues in the privacy of your own home.

Step six: There’s probably an archery range with bows and arrows in your area. Go find it .

Step seven: Cranial sacral therapy.

YoUranus
Your friends already think you’re a know-a-lot. They ain’t seen nothing yet.

Virgo
Step one: You gotta noah when to fold’em.

Step two: Your mission is to find a new position. You can interpret that anyway you wish.

Step three: Don’t sleep on your own advice.

Step four: Take a good look at Pope Benedict and see if you can love that face–remember we are all one–right? right?

Step five: Drop at least one good F-bomb in a social setting that might not be totally appropriate

Step six: Go stare at a goat.

Step seven: Find a really good body clay and get baked.

YoUranus
You used to be conservative–get over it.

Libra
Step one: Tighten everything up before the big winds hit.

Step two: Talk dirty for a day.

Step three: Exercise leverage at least once.

Step four: There’s a friend that’s about to become a lover.

Step five: Spontaneously break into some form of grace over a meal.

Step six: Go fly a gorgeous kite.

Step seven: Get in a float tank.

YoUranus
The urge to merge will never be more pronounced and demanding.

Scorpio
Step one: It’s not too late to get some seeds into the ground.

Step two: Put out the smoldering fires of rage and the creative furnace will burn again.

Step three: Joni Mitchell just called Bob Dylan a phony. Who’s on your list?

Step four: If you’re not loving what you’re doing, then you’re selling love short.

Step five: Consciously love someone else’s bodily shortcomings and heal your own in the process.

Step six: Confess a secret to a total stranger.

Step seven: Hot tub or home tub, candles, flowers, mineral salts and silence.

YouUranus
Radical healing technologies await your natural touch

Sagittarius
Step one: There’s a difference in being open in a relationship and having an open relationship. Figure it out.

Step two: Celibacy can be subtly addictive. Watch out for isolating yourself.

Step three: Mixed martial arts workouts get you back on the warrior’s path.

Step four: Take the lead when it comes to the heart. Be bold and others will follow your lead.

Step five: It’s time to have that legacy talk with someone very close, old and or young.

Step six: Go to an exotic restaurant if you can’t afford to get to the country the food is from. Make friends with the owners–you won’t regret it.

Step seven: Your home doesn’t have to be a shrine but the cleanliness/godliness thing has some merit.

YoUranus
Unconventional love equals creative genius.

Capricorn
Step one: Diversify.

Step two: Multiply.

Step three: Amplify.

Step four: Gratify.

Step five: Signify.

Step six: Sanctify.

Step seven: Deify.

YouUranus.
Building a home becomes the foundation of your life.

Aquarius
Step one: Learn to dowse for water.

Step two: Too much processing is the death knell to all forms of love.

Step three: Visualize results.

Step four: Speaking to love is not the same as processing. Find your sweet tongue again.

Step five: Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Step six: Perform at least one, visceral, good deed a week for the next four weeks.

Step seven: Raw smoothies.

YoUranus
Brilliance is a 24 hour phenomenon. Don’t you forget it.

Pisces
Step one: Shoot the rapids.

Step two: Irresistible force, meet immovable object.

Step three: Mud and hay make for strong bricks. You might want to practice this.

Step four: The yoke of your inner critic is about to break. Let it go.

Step five: Thoughts are things. Keep your thoughts conscious.

Step six: Every creation, good or bad, once started as a concept. You have the power to dream into reality.

Step seven: The alchemy of forgiveness is a daily practice and you are the high priestess.

YouUranus
Please give us your number, because you’ll feel Earth shaking changes before they actually occur.

By the way. If you haven’t heard my interview with Alexyss K. Tylor, you need to check it out. She was pretty amazing.