Sometimes, what’s going on, on the inside is more potent than the daily spin, though not always as easy to deal with than the decoding of phenomenon. I’ve decided to open my astro-veins and talk about some of the aspects that are coursing through my life. Sometimes at a glacial rate.
Back in 2003 I was at a small dinner party in San Diego and there was an astrologer there. We talked about various aspects, transits, etc., and I saw this transit well into my future, the Neptune conjunction of the South Node in my 4th House. I brought it up with a pre-mature sense of dread and we talked it out of my anxious field. Well, as of last month, it hit me like tsunami.
As an astrologer, I do my best to find the redemptive energies in just about every aspect, but to be frank, some are just harder to love than others and this transit is one of them.
One of my favorite transits from my past was when the ruler of Pisces was in Aqua, in my 3rd House. Aside from the occasional memory loss, I loved Neptune’s stream of consciousness slowly coursing though that mental sphere. When it trined my Mercury/Moon, my intuition was off the charts–I was pretty kind as well. Those were the days.
A month ago, I lost a seventeen-year-friendship as Neptune started to blot out my South Node and spin like a celestial whirlpool, creating a sucking vortex opposite my North Node, my worldly purpose. It wasn’t just the loss of the friendship but the words and feelings behind. Frankly, I was shocked by the level of cruelty, which morphed two days later, into self-pity and nearly suicidal contrition. Of course, Neptune’s elixirs were involved, spirits, summoning the demons of the past on demand, soon-to-be ghosts of the present. And just days after that, my relationship that I’d been in for the past year hit a deep trough, and I was searching for my own form of Neptunian liberation, via margaritas and avoidance. It didn’t work. Did I fail to mention that this transit is going to last 2.5 years? By the end of December, 2019, I’ll have been put through the Neptunian rinse cycle.
When working with clients, I do my best to elevate both understanding and the actual interpretation of a transit/aspect. Neptune is always one of the more difficult ones, because it doesn’t happen like the Uranian thunderclap, or the Plutonian forge that burns the dross of the soul. It’s not like the steady hammer and chisel of Saturn. Neptune is subtle, then forceful like wave at Mavericks, taking you under, then calm, tranquil, then another mighty swell of the soul. Neptune brings suffering unlike any of the outer planets and with suffering comes self-medication, which is where most of the planet is at these days with massive opiod addiction. I get it. This is a rough time on Terra and we’ve been in in deep trauma mode for the last fifty years. People are desperate for a way out of their suffering.
A GOD SIZED VOID
When I was in my twenties, I spent a day at Tassajara, tucked away in the hills of the Carmel Valley, an old German spa transformed into a Zen oasis by the SF Zen Center. I was in a hot pool with two other men. One guy was in recovery, the other looked like he was in recovery from retiring early ie, he had some cash reserves. The recovery guy talked about how he was trying to fill a void in his life through drugs and the sage retiree said, “Like trying to fill a God-sized void.”
This is Neptunian language.
We can’t have a discussion about Neptune unless we dive into acts of surrender, letting go, blessing, forgiving, humbling ourselves in the deep pool of our imperfections. The ultimate reward of challenging Neptune is measured by our ability to reflect and embody deeply important spiritual principles and inner realities.
So that’s where I am as I sort through not just the dissolution of life circumstances, but also a reality that exists in opposition to who and what I do in the world, what I’m not just known for, but is linked to my dharma/purpose. I have no idea how this is going to unfold, but the early weather report seems stormy and it looks like I’ll be in for heavy weather for a while.
28 thoughts on “Astro Confessional — Neptune Swells — Swallows The South Node — The God Sized Void”
Wish I had some words of great wisdom to soothe your soul. Rest , eat well and make a vision board of what is important to you. (I love doing vision boards, they work for me. Bring things to the center) Just seems like every thing is unraveling from the thread that hold things together. Hugs Tracy
Thanks Tracy. It’s all part of a bigger plan.
Feeling the same way too. Sending you some love. Truly appreciate you and your awesome insight. I look forward to all of your shows and posts.
Thanks Ana. <3
So 4th house is opposite 10th, so there is a big pull having to do with your persona/public life and home life. Do you serve your purpose or do you dive deep into illusory home triggers? I might be way off, but I can see how you feel it’s a no win.
My son’s Sun is also on my South Node.
Robert, my comment earlier today about all of us facing and dealing with our Shadow sounds apt here. Mine has certainly been surfacing of late. The surrender word is good here, coupled with that knowing that it is all part of the bigger picture and plan.
Hello Robert. Look on the bright side. At least yours are transiting aspects. My natal Neptune in the 4th house is conjunct my south node as well as Lillith. I know I chose this but I hope to god I’ve mitigated the evil karma I created in past lives. My early home life was a barrel of fun. Fortunately I was blessed with the ability to go unconscious during my childhood.
Can’t even imagine, but there’s always that higher purpose with Neptune/Pisces. That’s my buy in. Thanks for sharing Claire.
Love to pop in to read the latest wisdom and interpretations. Looks like you’ve seen this coming for quite some time! I started not hiding my “stuff” away so much with the younger ones to let them know that it’s okay to be human and make mistakes. With Neptune square my natal Sun and opposite Mars it seems like a lifetime of pain, but with a now transiting Uranus sitting on my grand fire trine comes a long era of change. Like you said, 2 1/2 years…if warm wishes can help heal your soul you most surely have mine!
Thanks Steve, Really good to hear from you.
Dear Robert, my life has been a veritable shitstorm since about Oct/Nov of last year… no idea where my stars are as I’ve not had the presence of mind to try to figure it out… all to say, I can relate.
Please know that you have been a huge help to me through all these rough times… I’ve been listening … and, it’s therapy for me too.
Thanks GS1. We’re all on this cosmic ark together.
Robert, I had something similar happen when my Progressed
Ascendant squared my natal Pluto. Lost some friends I’d known for approx 30 years. I think there were other major transits going on, and I can’t pinpoint an exact date, but I know the years in question. Still, it was sad, but perhaps meant to be. That’s not to discount the sadness, though, or the sense of loss. Especially as we get older, there is a real loss in losing people who knew us when, but the thing about life is that it is always moving forward. Sometimes those we’ve known for a long time are unable to follow us where we are going and need to go. Still, it hurts. It’s a real ache.
It’s part of our experience, always something to learn and it’s the wound of separation which always seems to connect us. Thanks Catherine.
Time for some past life regression.
Like I can tell U anything!
I’d be down with that. Some coming up already.
I have this theory that planets have either positive or negative manifestations. So Pluto when it went into Capricorn’s positive manifestation would have been seeing behind the veil of our institutions. Seeing all the corruption there and then… The next thing would obviously be dealing with it via, Saturn, Jupiter and probably Mars.
However, when the positive is rejected it then becomes tyranny in order to cover up for the negativity that is being exposed and hence becoming more tyrannical. This is why in my view Pluto appeared with two manifestation: Psychotherapy and dictators.
The same with Neptune, and when it goes from it’s current manifestation into a more positive one it will give at the same places it is currently blocking.
Binge-watch something (I HIGHLY recommend The Leftovers). Gives the brain a temporary respite from “things”.
Robert, rather than making Truth a thing that you broadcast, you are BEING Truth. And then sharing what you think from that place. Thanks for the (ironically ☺️) uplifting a-n-d grounding energy that comes from your down-to-earth ‘being real’.
Try balancing the planetary influences with precious metals and gemstones ala vedic tradition
“Trying to fill a God sized hole” is the story of my life, and especially the last 5 years. Thank you for that image. Helps me to make sense of things.
I wish you wellness and wholeness.
You are welcome.
Robert, I wish u well always esp., the next 2 years, of course I would trade places w/u in a heartbeat if I could, U know my circumstances. And alongside the turmoil in my like my sons pluto is just about conj his ascendent..i have always heard that that was the toughest to go thru….but i hope not…enuf is enuf and we are all tired of the BS….please know that you are in my heart and prayers as you have always been a good friend, soul etc., love and peace / chaos merging with order is on it’s way full blast………u r never alone, ever~
My sympathies, Robert. I know there’s a purpose to every transits (really???) but I absolutely loathe Neptune. Coming out of a 5-year spell where it kept either squaring or opposing just about everything in my chart and with only 3 more years to go (ha ha), I can say, after a while the waves become familiar and weaker. It’s still hard to do the smart thing but at least it’s in the view.
Also, if you’re into flower essences at all, Bach’s Clematis has been a life-saver. If not for that, I’d still be walking around with my eyes glazed, freezing mid-action.
Hope nothing else gets taken from you with the future passes.
PS I meant nothing of value gets taken. I think Neptune doesn’t make that distinction… my bitter two cents 😀
Thanks Helen. Just getting ready to swim in deep waters. I’ve been pretty fortunate most of my life and the most strife I’ve had has been self-inflicted. The past month has been pretty cleansing–let’s start there.